If there really was a Speedy Rainbow Pizza Company, we reckon they might have a T shirt a bit like this.
Features the 'logo' and the tag line 'Cramming it in your gob since 2017'

Keep warm this winter with our embroidered Let's Hibernate sweatshirt, with the logo in black stitching

Cover up this autumn! This long sleeve shirt has the Let's Hibernate logo printed in white on the left breast

Why yes, I am one of those. Thanks for noticing!

If you go down to the hood today ... you'd better wear this embroidered hoodie

A black zip-up hoodie, featuring the Resist design on the left breast. It's embroidered in flamingo pink and measures approx 6cm wide and 7.5cm tall

Not feeling it? Don't worry - we can't all enjoy Xmas all the time. This printed sweatshirt has a tree and the helpful message "This Xmas, just .... don't! OK?"

We can't guarantee it'll help you avoid arguments, but it's worth a try.